My Diabetes Secret

My Diabetes Secret

Diabetes has forced me to look at a plate of food and to see numbers (29, 64, 15) instead of milk and pasta and an apple and carb ratios (1:5) and insulin units (21.6) plus current blood sugar (241) and correction factors (1 for every 30 over 140 = 3.36) and at some point it was just a plate of dinner.

They told me to keep myself away from stress but diabetes itself is the root of my stress.

I’m fourteen and I have Type One Diabetes. It’s been almost exactly a year since I was diagnosed, and I’m doing okay. I’m still on the shots of Novolog and Levemir multiple times a day and it gets annoying to test myself all the time and stuff, but I think (damn this sounds stupid) that this disease kind of made me a better person in a way. I think about things that I didn’t before, and i’m paying attention to what I eat and how I exercise.

One of the downsides is that I was also diagnosed with celiac’s disease, intolerance to gluten. I had no symptoms and continue to have none even when I eat gluten, which makes it SUPER HARD to stay away from it. I’ve kind of eaten some recently, and I didn’t even feel guilty. I’m kind of worried that i’m going to develop some kind of cancer or something just because I ate a piece of cake.

Recently I’ve kind of neglected to check my sugar, resulting in highs that make me really annoyed and pissed at everyone. I’m trying to get on top of it but it’s hard. My mom has started not letting me go to my friend’s houses at night because “you could die in your sleep.” I know I can’t get rid of it and i’m making the best of it, but sometimes I just wish diabetes would GO AWAY.

Having social anxiety and diabetes is just awful. I’d rather eat food, not bolus and suffer the highs later than pull out my pump in public. I feel like I don’t deserve to have a pump because of this but being on injections would be SO much more difficult. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I am 15, and I have Type 2 Diabetes.

Everyday, I feel so body conscious. And it is bringing me pressure and depression. I’m not that very obese, but, I’m not that very slim. And before I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, my parents noticed that I’m starting to grow weaker and thinner. And I, being so body conscious, was happy because I felt so thin.

Now that it has been two years, I’ve been gaining weight and I don’t like it. From the day on, I started eating healthy, working out daily and avoiding all junk foods. But still, I see no results of losing weight. And here I am today, doubting whether I should just eat too much until I lose weight, since i would really love to eat a lot of sweets, and neglect the existence of my blood sugar (even though that I am very aware of the consequences that might happen again).

I know that having this kind of disease, one should be strong enough to battle all of the ups and downs everyday. But I, as a high school student, who receives a bulk of work everyday, desires to have an easy going life just to balance it out with my disease. Because everyday, after school, I feel to tired and all I tend to do is stress eat, which will of course, lead to an unhealthy blood sugar. I am so tired and confused. :(

Last night I woke up low. It wasn’t any old hypo though, I also had my first panic attack in the middle of the night along with the hypo. I’ve never been so fucking scared in my life before

I met this boy with diabetes and his fingertips are scarred, too.

I’m just trying to survive. I’m struggling to make rent. I’m sorry I don’t have as much time to do advocacy, working as much as I do, but I’m just trying to make it out of this mess. It’s great that some people are fine with their diabetes, even to the point where they don’t mind if they die early, but I’m not. Just because other people don’t mind having diabetes doesn’t mean that people’s frustrations aren’t legitimate. This blog was made so that people could vent. I think some people here should respect peoples’ struggles with diabetes, no matter how easy it is for you.

I’m not famous, just a regular person with diabetes but I think that there’s so much jealousy targeted toward those who are getting these things. Yes,we all want new toys to play with (etc.) but how much advocacy have you done lately? The DOC isn’t the only place to find support there’s a whole world out there. Grow up and be grateful for what you’ve got. And if that’s not much find the people who do care, they are out there.

I have diabetes type 1 since about 10 years now and find it ok to live with it. I read all the rants on this page and it makes me sad. Of course it would be better not to have diabetes. To eat and drink whatever I want whenever I want without having my blood sugar always under control. Of course I’d love to not have people sometimes giving me strange looks when I eat at public public places or with people that don’t know me well and they see me measure my blood sugar or inject insulin.

But I learned to live with it. At least for now there’s nothing I can do about it, so why not get along with it? Yes, maybe I’m not gonna get 90 years old. Yes, maybe I have to take better care of myself, yes at certain situations (traveling, some sports, eating exotic food…) it’s very annoying. But after it’s a disease that still lets me live my life, enjoy my life and do whatever I want. I can live normally with it. I got very used to measure my blood sugar and inject insulin. It became like idk… washing my hands before eating. And honestly, is it so much too ask for, when it’s your health that’s at risk? There are so many worse diseases. What does it help if I feel miserable about myself and my situation?